This has been a hard pregnancy for me. Those who know me well and have heard me complain and whine the past 8 months I am happy to say that time has ended. And although it has been hard, I am actually finally to the point where I am just very excited and eager in anticipation to meet this little angel who is being entrusted to us and will be added to our family in just a few short weeks.......or at least I hope it will be a few short weeks.
This past weekend has been a little crazy here. Chip was gone Monday-Friday commuting to work in California and the boys and I were trying to get organized and back to life here in Va. We actually were very busy and had a lot of productiveness and fun the whole week, which also made the time pass quickly. We had a setback Thursday night when both the boys and I came down with some sickness and Friday seemed to be a little long but we were so excited to see our daddy we just took it easy. Well, Friday night came, and after having a relatively easy week of pregnancy all things considering I didn't expect anything to change.
However, I couldn't go to sleep and the acid reflux/heartburn set in horribly around 10 pm. I took medicine, but then the pain in my ribs and back started and I couldn't go to sleep. I battled the pain most the night, trying a hot bath, a hot shower, hot water bottles, ice packs, more heartburn meds, and many a different position trying to get comfortable and relieve the pain I was having under my right rib cage and in my back in the right middle section! Nothing worked. I had Chip give me a blessing, and although I felt things would be ok the pain still didn't subside. Finally, at 5 am I was having a hard time breathing and I told Chip I needed to go to the ER. I told him to stay home with the sick kiddos and I would take myself.
When I got there they told me that once you are 6 months pregnant if you come in to the ER for a pregnancy related illness you have to be taken up to OB. I was actually relieved. This meant I didn't have to get an IV if I didn't need one, and I would see a Dr. who was from the practice I attended. Perfect in my mind. I was taken up and the pain was getting worse. I could barely breathe at this point and my back was killing so bad no position seemed to relieve it. I was hoping they could find answers to why I was feeling this way and quickly get rid of the pain. I had some blood work done and then had to wait to see what the results would find. The first Dr. said most likely it was the positioning of the baby and unfortunately there isn't a whole lot to do with it. This wasn't very comforting to me, but had I known what was coming I think I would have dealt with the pain better.
Anyhow, the next Dr. came in and I instantly fell in love with her - she is at my practice and yet I have never seen her before, although I am now planning on having her be my delivery Dr. if I schedule an induction. She was so kind, patient, and spent a lot of time explaining things and a lot of time making sure I was ok. She asked me first if I wanted some pain meds, although by this time I was actually feeling better so I declined. I was hoping that I could just get sent home and in fact the baby had shifted and all would be well.
Then the news came. She said my lab results came back and my kidney enzyme levels were high and my platelet levels were low and she was worried it could be a gallbladder or kidney problem and I needed to be ultrasounded for this. Also, my blood pressure had been high when I came in and I had been swollen, and although both had gone down while I was there they needed to monitor them and make sure they stayed that way.
I had the ultrasound and the tech there was great too. She was actually very funny. She told me she wasn't supposed to look at the baby but she showed me some pictures of her and once again confirmed it was a girl again to me anyways. She was opening here mouth and moving her tongue around and it was very funny to us. It was surreal to see her moving and realize she is almost ready to survive outside my tummy soon. She was in a really awkward position with her legs and we tried to move them but she kept putting one straight out and the other tucked behind her bum! Seriously looked so uncomfortable - maybe she will be the flexible little dancer I can only dream of being at this time! Anyhow, everything looked good on the ultrasound and so I assumed all was fine.
I was taken back up and then had to wait for the Dr. to come back in and tell me the news. At this point I just wanted to get home to the husband I hadn't seen all week and my little kiddos. I wanted to spend a fun day saturday with them, and it was now 11 am and I could tell my plans were quickly falling apart. The Dr. was very busy with a lot of deliveries, and was currently delivering twins in the OR so the wait continued. She rushed in I could tell quickly after, since she was still in all her scrub gear, hat and booties and all......and then the news came. Although the ultrasound looked fine, the lab results were such that she thought I could have HELLP syndrome. I didn't know what this was, and it wasn't until I got home that I came to understand. She told me that they would discharge me since I had no pain at this point and my BP had gone down and everything was ok, but if I started to feel the slightest bit sick to get back in asap and if I developed a headache or saw blurry spots to also come in immediately. She mentioned it was on the spectrum of pre-eclampsia, but I thought she meant it was the mildest form and not really a big worry. I was just excited to be leaving and feeling better. I came home, told Chip what it was, and then I looked it up.
HELLP syndrome: A life threatening disease to pregnant moms which can be fatal for both the mom and baby. OK - NOT the first thing I wanted to read. Apparently it is the worst form of preeclampsia and very dangerous. Reading it made me scared and I realized how serious it is. I called my mom to tell her and she was with her good friend who is a PA and had a daughter who had this very thing and almost died with her baby from it when she had him. I remember actually how scary it was for the family and this made me all the more nervous. She also reiterated if anything new happened to get in and back to the Dr. ASAP! I have to go in on Monday for more blood work to make sure the kidney enzymes have gone down and my BP is ok and all the other tests, and then go to the Dr. that afternoon to also check that all is ok once again ---- and if the results come back bad and I do have it they will have to do a c-section immediately and get the baby out. What?! I am NOT ready for this little one to come yet. This made me so scared and after reading more about it I had convinced myself I probably did have it and all sorts of fears and panic set in. I am not ready, the nursery isn't done, my mom and sister aren't coming out for over a month more, Chip is supposed to leave on Monday for AZ for the week, my boys are sick, I am just not ready. Although I have been wanting her to come early, this was too early and I found myself in tears and thinking why does this have to be happening to me? The biggest thing that scared me was that this disease can cause a placental abruption during birth - which if the baby is inside can be fatal to the baby, and also can be fatal to the mom if child has been born or not --- I know all about this because this actually happened to me when I had Cash and I did almost die (he was out so never was a threat to him) and so it terrifies me to think it could happen again.
I instantly started offering up prayers that this would not happen to me. I was to take it easy, rest, and just lay low all weekend. Well, Chip gave me another wonderful blessing, I rested and offered up numerous prayers and pleas that she will not have to come so early. I feel peace that all will be fine and have felt fine all day today so I am very hopeful that all will be well. I have had so many kind texts, phone calls, people offering to help with kiddos while I go to the Dr. A VT who is bringing me dinner tomorrow even though she didn't even know about all this but just said she wanted to do something nice now that I am back and I am so prego and she knows I am probably tired without Chip here. So many blessings. I have felt the comfort today that the Lord does know me and I am going to be ok.
I jokingly told Chip that apparently I need to be abroad if I am ever to be pregnant again - because pregnancies here in the states seem to be much harder and we were so blessed with no complications or sickness of any kind when I had Griffin in China. Ok, not really - but I do believe he was watching over me and that was a tender mercy back then when I was pregnant. I also was talking about how I have so many friends going through tough trials right now and although this is so hard, I do know it will end and I am grateful for this trial in a weird way and that I am not going through what some others are going through, because although this has been hard and trying and I have felt or asked "why me? Haven't I endured pain enough for this pregnancy?" I wouldn't change it for others trials which seem harder. The Lord does know us. Each one of us. And I am grateful for his hand in my life and my prayer is that I won't have to have this baby tomorrow or Tuesday, but she can wait a little longer......and if not we will welcome here anyways, nursery still in boy form and all, and at least hopefully she can wait til Chip can get back to make her entrance.
So tomorrow is the big day.......Please let me BP and body cooperate and be in good health!
And hopefully now that I am a little more organized I can update with the pictures and other things I have of the kiddos from the last week we were in Cali and an update of our future move and next phase of our lives as we will soon know it! Have a great Sunday!
