The Loss of a Dear Friend!

Words can't begin to express the feelings I had when I learned on Monday that one of my dear friends and neighbors growing up, Ryan Runia, had passed away earlier that day.  At first I was in shock, then disbelief, then a little bit angry that someone so great would get taken away from his wife and four kids, and then overwhelmed with sadness for his family.

I would like to just copy the words his bishop wrote in his post titled "Friends at First are Friends Again at Last!" because I think his tribute to Ryan was perfect in every way of describing his character and the person Ryan was and is today. However, his words were more of knowing Ryan and interacting with him the past few years and I had most of my interactions with him and memories of him back in the 90s.  Although I haven't interacted with him that often since we were both married and lived in different states, I have kept up with the goings on of his life through his family members when I have visited and through his dear wife Cari's instagram posts and pictures.  Thus the loss feels even deeper.

I moved across the street from Ryan when I was 11 years old.  He was 10 and we have a lot of fun memories of night games, street hockey on rollerblades, dodgeball on the tramp, speed with the hose spraying out of the basketball hoop, church ball, YM/YW activities, Youth conferences, and family activities.  One of my favorite memories is of Ryan and Dane always coming over and sneaking into our outside freezer to get cookies.  My mom usually had extras stored in a big tupperware out there and Ryan wasn't afraid to get in and get a few.  Once my mom came out to the garage and they had just got them and put them behind their backs.  She asked them what they were doing and with his hugest grin ever, his trademark smile, he looked up and said "guilty.....we got some cookies!"  How could she be mad - I  think she just told them that one wasn't enough and they might need a few more.  

But this smile and happiness is what defined Ryan.  He was always smiling and had the ability to include everyone and spread happiness every where he went.  I had a HUGE crush on him most of my HS years, and although I chased other boys and liked other boys too, I always went back to crushing on Ryan.  I realized later on what my draw was to him - it was how happy he was and how much fun you always had with him around and just how happy you felt when he was around.  He lived life to the fullest and made every day great.

I attribute much of his character to the teachings of his parents.  He has great parents and I admire and love them both.  Bishop Runia was my bishop during the hs years and he always asked the question at the end of his interviews: "are you happy?" with a big smile on his face.  I remember that being my favorite thing about him, that I really felt he wanted me (and everyone) to be happy and cared that we were.  I feel like he passed that trait down to Ryan and Ryan emulated his dad's teachings in every aspect of his life.  He was always happy, his eyes would always crinkle up into little moons just like his dads as he would laugh and smile and happiness just exuded from him all the time.

I remember numerous different drives with Ryan, testing out the jeep, "running out of gas" in the green jeep, Canyon Crest, drives at Christmas time in the snow in the Red Jeep doing donuts at Centennial, and many other interactions and drives where we had good talks and Ryan inspired me to be better.  He was always trying to be better.  He was a good listener and would listen to  what I would say and think before responding.  He was funny, and when he was around you always felt safe and protected - like you had your own personal bodyguard.  

I also remember a favorite memory that we never told him about.  Ryan liked to do pranks and have fun, and was often doing them to others.  One day a few of us girls in the ward decided to do a prank to him, or rather the Runia family.  My parents were out of town and so it was the perfect opportunity.  Lindsey, Collynn, Angelina, and Emmy all joined with me at my house for a sleepover and we decided to toilet paper the Runias house.  We got them GOOD!  We used so many toilet paper rolls (sorry mom for wasting all that toilet paper) and it took us a LONG time to get it.  We threw it in the trees in front of their house, we threw it up on their roof, the entire front yard was COVERED in toilet paper.  We were careful and tried to be so quiet so as not to get caught and then ran inside to check out our work.  The next morning we woke up and expected to see Ryan out there cleaning up the mess, maybe a little bugged that he was having to do that or something.

But that was not the case. Instead, Ryan was out picking up toilet paper and Scott was filming with the video camera!  What?! we thought, so we opened the window to see if we could hear what was going on.  Ryan had the same grin he always had on and he was going around looking at different pieces of toilet paper, picking them up as if looking for something on them.  Come to find out he thought he was getting asked to a dance (we did so in creative ways back then) and so was going through and looking at each piece to find one with the girls name on it who might be lucky enough to ask him.  He was so joyful and found the silver lining for sure in picking up all the toilet paper. Too bad he never found a name or the question right?!  

Actually, after watching him out there with the video camera all morning cleaning up and searching we all felt too bad to ever tell him it was just us doing a prank of the old school toilet paper fun!  

Looking back though this experience once again shows his happy spirit and that he could find the silver lining in any situation, and always did!

Ryan later found the love of his life in a friend of mine from HS - Cari Wright.  We used to see them come home from scooter rides and spend a few minutes smooching in the garage before going inside and knew from the beginning that this relationship was going to last. I remember his wedding reception, and how for once his smile was even bigger, if possible then normal, and how happy he was!  It was snowy and cold, but there they were inside, Cari looking gorgeous and celebrating and ready to start their life off as a new family.  They have four beautiful children, who to me look like mini Runias and I have enjoyed seeing the posts of the fun family nights and activities they have done with them.  It is easy to see where the kids get their big smiles and happy spirits.  I think that just comes with being a Runia!

I am thankful for my memories and from the things I learned from having Ryan as a friend.  He will be missed and although it is hard and we are so sad and devastated for his family right now, we are so grateful for the plan of salvation and eternal families.  I am grateful to know that he will be reunited again with his wife and kids and that the separation now is but for a short time.  We love you Ryan Runia, and I am grateful to have known you for most of my life!  Til we meet again!