So it seems when it rains it pours, and that there is supposed to be this lovely rainbow at the end of the storm, and that after the rain flowers do come - meaning something better after the storm.
In life this analogy is often used and I believe it to be true. I love the quote that Pres. Uctdorf said in General Conference - which was "How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?"
I love this and I have found myself saying this quote to myself as I am trying to get through things and move on and get the rainbow to come. It is amazing that we look back sometimes and then realize how good we had it, when it seems all we really want is to cross that finish line, that next hurdle, get to the next phase of life, and yet how much are we really missing out on?! Why don't we just jump in the puddles, enjoy the rain at the moment, live life to its fullest, instead of always wanting more, the next thing, etc etc
I think it is human to be this way, and yet I am trying to change my paradigm view and just enjoy. I find myself at a similar crossroads these days to one before - not knowing the future of where we will be for the next few years, not knowing where we will live or what we will for sure do, the schools my kids will go to or friends I will have, etc etc. It is scary, overwhelming, stressful, hard, and sometimes gets me really down! However, as I have been there in the past I do know it always works out and we just have to trust in the Lord and move forward with faith and do the best we can. It might be hard, but there are lessons to be learned and puddles to jump in along the way.
About 1 month ago our landlord decided to sell the house. I wasn't too worried about it, they told us we could stay until it sold and then they would ask us how many days of escrow we wanted when it did sell and give us 60 or 90 days to be out. We didn't really want the house, but we offered a lower price that if we could get it at we would be fine staying for the moment, and they came back with a counter offer and we declined and decided to just move on with a different path.
Well, to make the story short the house went up on a Thursday on the MLS, and by Sunday it was sold and they had 3 other signed offers on it as well. Really things were done Saturday, meaning the house sold in less than 48 hours from when it went up on the listings. CRAZY!!!! Well, as there is NOTHING much out there in the housing market these days as we are now finding I am not surprised it sold due to the fact it is a big house (for the area) and has a fantastic kitchen and 4 huge bedrooms and great layout. Comparatively, it is like a mansion in other states with all the upgrades, altho really there is plenty that needs to be upgraded in the house itself. Well, at first we didn't mind much, altho the 60 day notice of when we will have to be out seems a little too soon for comfort at this point.....and we were ready to move on and get out and find our next place of residency.
However, in searching all we are now doing is wishing we had just bought our house ourselves and moved forward. There is NOTHING out there on the market, nothing for rent that is less than $4500/month and that is for places that are much smaller and not as nice as our house here. Nothing in our school boundaries and ward and that is frustrating, and just hardly any new listings from day to day. It is very competitive too so when houses do come up they are snatched up immediately, sometimes in minutes of being put on the market. So it has been hard.
To top it off last weekend I thought I had found our dream home, a 3500 sq. foot (unheard of out here for the most part) 5 BR, 4.5 bath home with granite kitchen and big island and a HUGE yard - both in front and back (also not heard of) and only $3900 a month. It wasn't in our ward or school boundaries but for the price and the house I was willing to move forward. I cancelled 2 other appointments for other homes to go see this one and we even got there 15 minutes early and then it happened - the guy didn't show up to show the house so I finally called him 10 minutes later - and found that he had given me his personal address instead of the address to the rental he was showing, that he was at the rental, and that the house I had looked at and been so excited for on Zillow was actually not for sale at all! Talk about being devastated. That was last week, on my 8th anniversary, and pretty much set me up for depression the rest of the day (yea not the best anniversary present!)
So it has been hard, frustrating, and very emotionally challenging. I have found myself asking "why me" numerous times and feeling sorry and bugged at the situation. I wondered and asked Chip if maybe our pride got in the way of us not buying our house because we were bugged with certain things such as the realtor or landlord and so didn't and then in fact it made us lose the sale that we now think was a great deal - considering what else is out there?! Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda you might say!
Well, then last Tuesday came, and Chip went to dinner with some people from his PE firm in Cville and a couple other job opportunities presented themselves. So once again different options are in the mix, presenting more decisions and options, and I am left to wonder what the Lord has in store for us and if I will see why things are unfolding the way they are or not and how I don't know my path as good as he does.
I guess what I am saying is I am trying now to just dance in the rain and enjoy the puddles and things I can see, since the rainbow might or might not be far off in coming and I don't want to waste any more time just standing here only sticking my toe in. I want to really enjoy and taste the rain and squeeze every last drop into something wonderful. So I am going to (try at least!)
After all, I LOVE the rain!
Hopefully if you are reading this you can find joy in the rain too!
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