Sunday, May 5, 2013

Another First At Our House.....but NOT a Good One!!!

I also knew this day would come.  And in the scheme of things it really wasn't a big deal, but on May 2nd, for a small second my little heart was crushed.  It was the day that Cash told me his first lie.  Now some might not believe this, as he is almost 5 and I know a ton of little ones who tell innocent lies to avoid trouble, or half-truths, or stories.  It is part of growing up some might say.  But my little sweet Cash is different.  Or I as his mom just am ignorantly thinking that.  You see, he has such a tender heart, has a HUGE conscience, and up to this point has never told me anything that wasn't true.  When I ask him if he has done something that I wouldn't approve of if he has he always just ducks his head and doesn't really answer, so I know my answer - whereas if he didn't do it he will defend himself and make sure he doesn't take the blame to the point of argument.  So I have always known.  It is always written all over his face whether or not he did it anyways so has been easy to see.  This is one of the reasons I love him most.  He really is a VERY INNATELY GOOD KID.  And he still is.  Maybe that is why my heart felt heavy and the disappointment was greater on this day.

I was in the family room looking at the floor and couldn't figure out what all this white stuff was by the sliding door.  I had seen something on the ceiling the night before but couldn't figure out what it was and not wanting to turn on the lights at the time never investigated it.  Well, this time I was standing underneath it and so looked up and saw a quarter sized hole jabbed into the ceiling!  What?!  That wasn't there a few days ago!  How did that happen?!  Cash was in the room with me and so I said - "Cash, do you know what happened here?"  He looked over and without so much of a blink said "Yeah mom, Griffin did it - it was with the broomstick!"  I looked back at the hole in disbelief, thinking little Griffin had done it, and yet then upon looking back again at it started in my head thinking - Griffin is too short, he couldn't hit it that hard, how could he jab it up like that.  So I asked Cash again - how could Griffin reach it?  Cash replied "well, he was standing on the ottoman I think and just pushed it like this!" (showing me)  Well, it still didn't quite resonate with me and upon really looking at Cash I started to think this wasn't quite the honest truth - so I then asked him "Cash did Griffin really do this or did you do this?"  He then looked over, shame totally covering his whole face and he said, "maybe I did it....I am not so sure, but maybe it was actually me!"  Well this launched us into me going on about why would he lie, how disappointed I was that he told me something not true, how this ruined my trust for him, how I wouldn't be mad at what happened (or maybe I would for a few) but I am more mad that he didn't tell me the truth......to which my little son who really is so sweet burst into tears, ran over, threw his arms around my neck sobbing that he was so sorry.  He was afraid I would be mad, and he hadn't meant to but was just playing Quidditch with Griffin and somehow the broom went up like this (showing me).......I told him maybe the broom was bewitched ;) and then we had a little talk about how important it was to tell the truth.  Later on that day it came time for another thing to come out and at first he started to say it for sure wasn't him, then as if recalling the thing he tried to take the blame and said he was so sorry, and then we came to the conclusion together and he said he really didn't do it and I actually think it was Ivy who had spilled the water.  He listens, he understands, and he tries really hard to do what is right.  I trust him and know he is trying to do what is right.  I know that this is a part of growing up too, so was happy to have a little chance to talk to him about it and see his understanding.

Yesterday we went to Costco - just him and me.  We had a lunch date and were talking and I asked him if he knew how much his little brother Griffin looks up to him.  Then I asked him what that meant and he responded with "it means if I do good he will, and I shouldn't do anything bad or he will do bad too!"  His level of understanding and thought process through it was amazing to me.  I told him he was Griffin's hero and Griffin wanted to be just like him.  He said he better act like a hero, and that most of the times he does act like a superhero, but sometimes he doesn't.  We had a good little chat and I am grateful he is such a good example to his little brother.  I then asked him if he liked having a little brother and sister, or if he thought it would be more fun to just have a mom and dad and get to do more stuff.  He paused, then stated:  "well, it would be fun to do more stuff and sometimes it is hard with the kids, mostly Ivy to do stuff......but I would rather have our whole family cuz our whole family is more fun!"  I couldn't have been prouder.  I am so glad he loves having his little siblings and how much he cares for them.  I love him to pieces, and sometimes wish I could freeze time and not let him grow up anymore!  Stay little and sweet and innocent forever!!!

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